acceptance

From healing to getting over the one that got away, acceptance plays an integral role in moving forward in any given situation. To some, this is an obvious observation, but I find that the action step of acceptance is a hard one to take even when it is the next logical step because it feels like I am giving up. It may be strange to think of “acceptance” as an action step but it is one that can catapult you forward. For me, my mindset and perspective toward a given situation can weigh me down or help me push through. In the context of healing, acceptance was the major game changer move that I took. For the first 4 years of MG, I was in fighter mode. “I am going to beat this disease!” “I am going to take it down.” “There is no way that I can be sick forever.” “I don’t have MG.” The main focus was finding a way to live without MG. But, it wasn’t till I decided to find a way to live with MG that the real healing began. This step took 4 years to really take hold as a constant in my mind. I am not sure if anyone else experiences this but I seem to vacillate from acceptance to denial and back again. For a day, I believe it and then, for a week, I don’t. Ironically, it was when I gave up fighting…gave up hope…that acceptance moved in full time. Simply put, it is hard to know when to keep fighting and when to let go. Even in the realm of love, I struggle to know when to keep fighting for someone or know when to walk away. The fear is that I gave up too soon. “What if I just gave it one more shot?” Taking a page from my healing journey, accepting a situation for what it is makes that decision easier because it forces me to see what is before me right now. I can’t yearn for what could be if I really see what is in front of me. This is not to say that I don’t have hope for the future. When I can live this way (because it is a struggle), I move towards the future with more freedom and joy because stress about what should be is at bay. I can live in the now. Acceptance gives me more room to love, laugh, and just be.